by Richard Prebble

Power corrupts, but the possibility of power corrupts faster.

The Opportunistic Party has now issued its five bottom lines. They make motherhood and apple pie seem like a tough demand.

Qiulae Wong means it. She will trade away everything with anyone to be in government.

Forget land tax and a guaranteed income. Gone is the promise for a “tax reset that increases incomes, makes homes affordable and safeguards retirement.”

We can predict now how the negotiations will go.

1. Qiulae: “Bring prices down. Give the Commerce Commission powers to investigate anti-competitive behaviour.”

Luxon or Hipkins: “Already has the powers.”

Agreed.

2. Qiulae: “Clean up politics with registration of lobbyists and capping political donations at $30 thousand.”

Luxon or Hipkins: “A lobbyist register is just window dressing.

“I am sure we can find a donation limit somewhere between the $4 million that the multi-millionaire founder put into TOP and the $30 thousand cap TOP now wants. Like TOP, we too do not want any new parties.”

Agreed.

3. Qiulae: “A 10-year plan for health.”

Luxon or Hipkins: “All government departments under the Public Service Act 2020 already produce a Long-term Insights Briefing. We will call it a plan.”

Agreed.

4. Qiulae: “Begin phasing out bottom trawling.”

Luxon or Hipkins: “The Treasury benches are worth more than a few fish. Trawling is already banned in nearly all of the Hauraki Gulf. Banning trawling throughout the Pacific Ocean? That’s for a future government.”

Agreed.

5. Qiulae: “Recommit to the Paris Agreement. Protect the independence of the Climate Change Commission.”

Luxon or Hipkins: “Our party campaigned to honour the Paris Agreement. The Commission is independent.”

Agreed.

Luxon or Hipkins: “Now for the tough negotiations. Which Beehive office, ministerial house and model of self-drive car do you want?

Originally published on I've Been Thinking.