by Rachel Stewart

What is it about the ever-growing spiritual growth/wellness industry that puts my teeth on edge?

Yes, I do tend toward the more melancholic side, but this ‘bypassing of reality’ movement, where most of the players tend to be on the financial take makes me cringe. You know, yoga teachers who are out of shape, self-appointed life coaches with effed up lives, chime ringers hitting the wrong note, online tarot card readers just taking the piss while making bank. Look around. They’re everywhere.

And the data shows it’s fast becoming the new religion. ‘Woke’ may be on the way out while morally superior ‘awakeness’ is on the way in. It’s huge, and I’ve watched with increasing discomfort its growth in provincial NZ towns, particularly post-Covid lockdowns.

Now I’m not saying that one shouldn’t look to grow, but are these the vehicles to effectively take you there? Toxic positivity is the new game in town, and here’s how I feel about this turn of events. It can go kiss my grits.

Here’s historian and professor Kate Bowler’s rational thoughts on the matter

I’m with Kate, but with more obvious disdain. I genuinely look down on these people. They do damage, create real harm, and in many cases they are blatantly ripping people off. Yeah, you’d have to be a bit stupid to fall for some of these things but there’s plenty of stupid in the world. And they do engage in a lot of faux validation. In a crisis, some easily fall for that. Like they did with religion, back in the day.

Is it harmless? Sometimes. But when it profoundly affects close relationships and creates a conduit for spiritual bypassing, it’s definitely destructive. Let me explain.

When your partner comes home after joining one of these sects and suddenly starts talking about you not speaking their “love language” you need to beware. Same for “good vibes only” or the “law of attraction”. Those are classics spiritual bypassing mantras. They speak to an inability on their part to face themselves and their relational responsibilities honestly.

Watch out for the suitcase being packed, as they enter the “next chapter” of their life without a backward glance. More and more the abrupt partner or marital discard after many years is happening. Talk to counsellors and social workers. There’s an epidemic of it and it’s scary.

Then there’s the blatant grifting aspect. Social media has transformed the whole thing into a hyper-competitive commercial contest about who can get you to enlightenment fastest. I look at people in my hometown who call themselves all these amazing things but are distinctly unqualified and their personal lives are generally a mess. They are often deeply toxic, which is quite the irony.

Then there’s the pseudo-science. If you value empirical evidence this is deeply disturbing. I’m sorry, but crystals and chakras and tarot cards masquerading as facts makes me queasy and angry in equal measure.

And have you noticed the moral superiority of the “practitioners”. It’s off the charts, and not the astrological ones. They’re using their spiritual identity as an ego booster and magnet for gaining admiration which often comes wrapped in fake humility. How empty is that?

I’d rather be admired for being grounded, and real. Even if that sometimes comes with less than “positive vibes only”. I am of, and in, the real world. The one that comes with responsibilities, highs and lows, and authenticity. I am imperfect, capable of good and bad, and I know I have a dark side. We all do. The difference is that many of us won’t acknowledge it. They’ll do virtually anything not to. Like join a sisterhood cult, or beat the drums, or worship Gaia, or play with rocks while howling at the moon. You do you.

Me? Well, if that’s your thang, it’s best you keep your distance. I’m clearly not enough of a “highly evolved soul” for you. I don’t howl. But I’ve been known to bite. I’m more wolf than goddess.

Listen to the full episode of Riding Shotgun.